A few days ago, I was involved in the argument that took an ugly turn. A member of managing committee of our housing Society phoned me to gather support for opening up the terrace. I told her that you can get a key from security person and open it for your use, then close it and give back the key to the security. She told that the Security man has refused to give key. It was insulting for a member of managing committee to face it. In my past experience, I got the key for using it for few hours. I requested the Secretary of the Society immediately that those keen to wander around on terrace during this critical times of Corona lockdown may be allowed to do so. It has been quite a long time for members to be confined to their homes and if some like it, they may use terrrace for few hours. Corona lockdown has strained and drained some especially women more psychologically. It is quite natural that some would like different outlet to smoothen their nerves. Our neighbours are seen early morning or late evening using their terrace occasionally strolling on it.
The Secretary of the Society asked me to put up the note on WhatsApp Management Committee Group and so I did requesting President/Secretary to allow members to use terrace for some time during this critical period of lockdown. And this led to the fall of heaven with President arguing that the use of entrance door of terrace might lead to contamination and spread of corona virus and hence, the terrace may not be allowed to use [Probably he knew who amongst us, members of the Society, are contaminated with corona virus and with their use of terrace, contamination will occur].
I wrote back to inform me if that is the case, so should be case for the lifts that members of the Society are using more often than any thing else. I would like know corona virus contamination in the lift vis-a-vis that of entrance door for terrace. The President did not reply.
However, ex-President and now a member, barged in the argument saying that wise decision to lock up terrace was taken long back. And please do not make it a prestige issue to open the terrace. Obviously, it meant even for limited time during this critical period that I was requesting.
I wrote back to state that the wise decision taken long back is not relevant today, and people should not be allowed to suffer now when they need it most. Instead of taking action against those misusing terrace, you would like to punish others by not allowing this common resource (terrace). You were HELPLESS to take action against those misusing it, and punished everybody else by denying its use until now. [He was in fact making it a prestige issue as he was President when this decision to lock up terrace was taken up, with few violations such as above.]
With my argument, he felt slighted/insulted and left the WhatsApp group immediately. However, a day later, he was back in the WhatsApp Group. The third member chipped in to say that this matter should be discussed at the next managing committee meeting. And for me, this meant that meeting will be held after lockdown is over. And by default, terrace use may not be needed at all. I felt slighted and left the Group more because President and Secretary did not accept this request of two members of managing committee, less because the ex-President is back in the Group.
A little background to the so-called wise decision will help readers to gain a perspective. Many years ago, the terrace of the Society was used by some young and not-so-young children for drinking as well as merry making, and this involved both genders. Some members, of course elders, started complaining about it. As it happens, the Society decided to close terrace once for all. Na rahega bas na bajegi basuri. The result is some members on one excuse or other used it for various purposes like sundrying warm clothes after winter, or putting up potted plants for few days to expose to sunshine, or loittering during winter, may be for drying or exposing food stuff like pickles, or for putting up/repairs of TV dish or AC compressors etc.. This happened because decision was more or less forgotten and later, the management committee had ordered that access to it be given provided a register of use of terrace is maintained with members signing and stating reasons.
A day or two after I left the WhatsApp group, I resigned as a member of "Management Committee". I did not bother about it. However, in the same vein, I felt by the same reckoning that garden should also be closed as I found and had reported informally many months earlier that some young children or not-so-young are using it for drinking. I had myself collected empty beer bottles from garden as well as water bottles from ground on one Sunday morning to find out how irresponsibly so-called civilized members of the Society throw them after alighting from their cars etc in response to the Swachh Bharath Abhiyan of the Government and the very name VASUNDHARA (abode of wealth, inheritor of this earth, daughter of earth) invokes. I had posted photos later along with my sweet notes on my Facebook. Later, I came to know that one member of the Society had complained about use of garden for drinking late night by some young children or members [I am not sure if it was officially done].
This episode created bad indifferent feelings about these members involved in the argument on the WhatsApp in me. And I was in bad mood for about a week. However, I also realised that but for this episode, I am now not on speaking terms with some one whom I had known from 1980s and our families shared the same friendly ties.
As it happened fortunately, this acrimony did not spead to our better halves. Barged in my beloved who phoned other side, probably within 4-5 days. I did not bother to know what she spoke or what was discussed. Later, she started prodding me to speak to him (member of the Society and ex-President). I argued that I did not do it for myself. I wanted to help some one and my own neighbour who was keen to use terrace once in a while. On other side, wife of ex-President also reminded us of lack of communication between two families and equally felt concern for the same.
As the time passed, with the issue in clear perspective, I found out that I had spent all my ammunition to attack opponent leaving no scope to open communication channels. Calling someone as HELPLESS meant attacking personally his ability to deal with the issues he was facing as President of the Society that time. I should have argued repeatedly and persistently that it is he who is making it prestige issue and not me. I should have reiterated that it is a need of hour and this exception is responsibility of the concerned member who is opening the terrace. This was my introspection.
Did he do any introspection? Wasn't he jumping in as I had addressed issue to President/Secretary and he made it a point to react as fast as possible? Why did he quit the group immediately with my argument? Shouldn't he been more realistic that two members of managing committee are requesting something which is not as big or as persistent as to be made a prestige issue? Was it not the decision of the managing committee to maintain a register for those who want to use terrace for specific purpose? Probably he stuck and still sticks to his guns, feeling what he has done is right.
[Our London connection chips in to say hello uncle, how are you? A lovely lady whom we have known from her school days and elder daughter of the ex-President, as we were neighbours, must not feel heat of what is going on here. Or was she aware of it? ].
With tempers going down, days passed with 1 May day in, the day when Maharashtra was curved out of Bombay state. It is a matter of pride for everyone. I wished him and others well. [It is also an International Labour Day devoted to labour movement all over the world] It thawed ice between two of us. After a few whatsapp messages of greetings, I called to enquire and say sorry that this was not to offend him personally. On his part, he was kind to forgive, be jovial and fine gentleman as before.
Am I sorry because I was wrong in taking up an issue. Am I sorry because I felt insulted with their refusal to accede to my request? or Am I sorry that I attacked him (ex-President and member of the Management Committee) left and right leaving no channel for communication? I find it difficult to come to a conclusion.
But, by saying sorry to him and for the whole episode, I cleared my conscience. I am glad that my relations are on tract and are as valuable as before, worth investing more than before.
PS: I am back as a member of managing committee as reported by the Secretary on Monday, the 11th May, after a hiatus of about 2 weeks and more. I am back on WhatsApp Management Committee Group.
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